My son’s turning 20. Yikes!! I remember when he was born, so tiny and new. The start of my family. Way before planned but oh so wanted and adored.
I love the man he’s become. Maybe it’s not cool amongst his peers, but he’s one of the good guys, a grafter in his job, honest, trustworthy, a genuine friend. He’s still mad keen on gaming…. Gamed since he was old enough to hold a controller. He’s got a wild gaming temper tho!! But apparently all gamers do if the play COD!!
What do I want for my son? I want him to be true to himself. I want him to be happy. I want him to surround himself with good people. I don’t want him to change. I want him to still share his thoughts dreams and fears with me. I want him to be as proud of himself as I am of him. I want him to remember where he came from, but to constantly be moving forward. I want him to learn from his mistakes but realise it’s not the end of the world to make mistakes. I want him to follow his dreams plus enjoy reality.
No matter how many years go by, I will always be remembering that day on the 22nd May 1992 where my axis changed forever.
Soapgirl

To argue or not to argue? That is the question.

A definition:
a. A discussion in which disagreement is expressed; a debate.
b. A quarrel; a dispute.
c. Archaic A reason or matter for dispute or contention: “sheath’d their swords for lack of argument” (Shakespeare).

It is not the end of the world to have an argument. It is the end of something if you can’t come to some sort of conclusion or you don’t contest it in the first place. At some stage the one who compromises to save having an argument, will feel bitter and hard done by. At some stage the one that always “wins” will feel its opponent doesn’t actually care.
Arguments can be avoided, communication is the key BUT sometimes an argument has to happen. It is a debate as the definition states….. Arguments fail, if the other person doesn’t listen, is too busy thinking up a retort rather than listen and reply. Tis tricky, in the midst of any argument not to want to strike points, hurt the opponent, say things in haste and regret at leisure. The point of all arguments is to get it out…. The resolution of all arguments is to sort it out, together.

To brood is just to let it eat you up from the inside out. Once the argument starts to go round in circles it’s sometimes better to have time out. A good huffing session. Time to think. A cool down. That’s only good if you’re willing to get back in the ring and sort it out a while later….you walk away before conclusion, there are no winners and nothing is sorted…..

I’ve been with my husband for 28 years…..that’s a lot of time for arguments.

I don’t like the process of arguing……. the shouting, the insult flying, the lack of listening, the sulking, the rehashing, the resolving and the making up….But I do argue and go thru the process as I’m stubborn and I feel the need to vent. I’m also not afraid to argue, I know my subject well.

Throughout our relationship/marriage key things have caused arguments….money, time, sex, kids, tiredness and general stress. Despite arguing and resolving issues, they pop up again and again, but that is life. We’ve also argued over silly things where the root cause of our malcontent is something else completely. A good argument tends to unearth the root cause and everything can then be aired and sorted out.

I’m not afraid to air my opinion, nor do I feel that arguing is a reflection on how strong or weak my relationship is…..after 28 years the fact that we are still the same with each other and still together is quite telling….. I love my husband, but sometimes I don’t like him very much. I know he would say the same…. We then endeavour to find out what it is that’s annoying the hell out of the other person and try to sort it out or at least a compromise that is agreeable to both parties.

I know couples who’ll say “we never argue”
What you never have a difference of opinion? You never get cross at your loved one? You’ve never had raised words? You discuss everything calmly and rationally ALL the time? Really??
Well let me know how that works out for you…..oh and don’t get too devastated when you do have that “tiff”

Arguments, disputes, differences of opinion, whatever you want to call it, are a good thing, not a bad thing……
We are not all the same and neither should we be.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t argue all the time, in fact it’s few and far between. It makes them more shocking in one way, but when I take a step back and we start to decipher what’s going on, I’m glad it’s happened, if only to get something sorted and cleared up. The making up is equally as passionate, so there are good sides to the concluding argument.
Some feel it’s inappropriate to argue, but as I’ve said. It’s only inappropriate if you’re not listening and you don’t want a resolution. If you are arguing for arguments sake or because you are unhappy, that’s the thing you need to address. If you don’t want to address the underlying issues, then maybe you shouldn’t be together……

If my kids are ever aware of arguing, they get full explanations as appropriate and they see the conclusion and the happy made up faces after. They realise that arguments aren’t divorce with a capital D, but the fact that there is a disagreement that’s progressing and it will get resolved.
Is that not a better example than seeing someone compromise and the other get their way? I know if either my husband or I had walked away from disputes we would’ve lost faith in the other. I would interpret compromise as a lack of care in trying to understand what I’m trying to say and more an “anything for a quiet life” attitude. I’d rather face the feistiness trusting that we will get a conclusion rather than a hollow win as the other backs down, no conclusion or resolution made…..

You can argue vehemently, loudly and with passion or you can argue in bickering snippy whispering tones. The volume does not change anything!!
In this household, tho arguing isn’t pleasant I love that we feel confident enough to have different opinions and also confident that we will get resolution. I also love the fact that it has no bearing on the tenacity of my relationship.
Soapgirl

When you are aware that something is happening, but you don’t for one minute consider it has anything to do with you…..THAT

I’ve had May 15th booked out and marked “date nite” for weeks and weeks. No clue given. It was when I persisted on the “at least tell me what to wear…..” that he relented and on the morning of said date nite he said, Wear your shirt!
Still blank….. Still not twigging that the Harry Gregg testimonial and my date nite might be connected, i asked perturbed, My shirt!?! My Ralph Lauren one? (doh!!)

Bless the girl who expects nothing, as she will mightily be rewarded.

‘No, your Utd Shirt…….’
No pennies dropped….. I was just post nightshift. I’m allowed a durrrrr moment….. He went and grabbed the tickets. Handed me them closed. Ticket Master printed on the backs….. On opening I thought I was gonna faint.

When you’ve got tickets to see Man Utd play in your own City…..THAT :D

I must be one hell of a wife to get such an awesomesauce treat ;D
Soapgirl

Just discovered tonight’s date night. Bill is a legend. Am beyond excited. Had no notion til this a.m.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#manutd

Definition:
1/ strong and barely controllable emotion
2/ a state or outburst of such emotion

No doubt about it, those who know me, know I’m very passionate about certain things…..
Passion for me is that feeling of truly connecting, standing up and being counted, revealing your true colours no matter what anybody thinks…..
Being passionate makes me feel alive. Being passionate about something or somebody brings equal happiness and sadness(frustration) I would rather have that, than bland mediocre follow the crowd nod and agree syndrome. I get myself into trouble and arguments over what I’m passionate about. An argument is not a bad thing, not something to run away from. I argue passionately, I love passionately, I support passionately, I live passionately….. Thus the rollarcoaster that is my life. Im proud of my passion….if it dies then I’m no longer me and what would be the point in that??
Soapgirl

New dress. Can you tell I like it *happy face*

Soapies going out to play

A lil pampering before a night out. Just makes you feel so much better :D
It’s a dirty job but someone gotta do it.
#silkysmoothsoapgirl

(via onefootwrong)

(via onefootwrong)